How I learned to stop worrying and love my hair

People often stop me in stores or on the street to tell me how beautiful my super-thick, curly hair is. I love it, even though I always tell them "Oh, if you had it, you'd say otherwise!" And they probably would. It's been a long road to love for me and my hair.

When I was a kid, my mom loved my long hair so much, she wouldn't let me cut it or thin it. The problem was that she has very straight hair and didn't know how to help me contain the frizz, like realizing that I shouldn't be brushing it, like, ever. We also didn't have a lot of money for products. So I was walking around with huge ball of fluff for a head for years.

I have cut it all off a few times. I used to keep it short and straighten it, which was manageable.

My 22nd birthday. Chubbers.

But I got tired of straightening it and then constantly worrying about it getting even a little wet. One day I decided to just let it do its thing. And it was one of the most liberating things I've ever done.

Today I imagine myself as Carrie Bradshaw, curls whipping as I walk down the street. My hair is never out of place, because it has no place. It bounces, it flaps in the wind, it doesn't matter what happens to it. (Yes, I shed constantly and it's very hot, especially here in Jacksonville, Florida, but those things don't really outweigh the minimal styling and upkeep stress.)

So my fellow curly girls, put down your straighteners! If you've got hair like mine, here are some tips for loving it:

1. Don't ever brush it.

#turndownforwhat

This is how my hair often looked when I was a kid, and I didn't understand. Wasn't I supposed to brush my hair? NO. Never brush curly hair. You're only breaking up the curls. So what should you do?

Comb it. Get a wide-toothed comb and comb it out before you get in the shower to wash it. Only then. If you get a lot of knots, just finger through them. Don't comb it while it's wet, because it's more likely to break then. Run your conditioner through it with your fingers. That's it.

2. Use less shampoo. I am still working on this myself. But you don't need a lot, even if you have a lot of hair. If it doesn't seem like it's lathering up much, just rinse and repeat. The second time is always better.

Use more conditioner, leave about 1/3 of it in your hair when you're rinsing, and if you can, turn the water to cold right before you get out and do one quick rinse with it. The "pores" will close up and you'll see less frizz. And wrap it up in a microfiber towel or old T-shirt. Regular towels have those little "fingers" on them that will pull apart your curls.

Also, I only wash my hair two times a week. I know you might think that's gross, but it just doesn't need it. Curly hair doesn't usually get as oily as some other types, so you can go a little longer. Try it.

3. Products. I used to not want to spend money on products, but it's a necessity.

For curly hair by kirbythinks featuring L'Oréal Paris

Josie Maran beauty product / L Oréal Paris styling product / Amazon.com : Sexy Hair Style Spray Clay Texturizing, 4.4 Ounce :...

Here are some products I'm using right now on my hair. The l'Oreal and Suave both go on my wet hair right after washing. They help to keep the curls intact and minimize flyaways and they're both cheap. StyleSexyHair's Spray Clay is great for keeping everything exactly where you want it, it's a wonderful styling aid for curly girls. And the argan oil is to get some shininess and moisture. (This one is from Sephora, and I kick myself all the time for not loading up on cheap argan oil when I was in Morocco. Ugh.)

One of the best styling products I've ever used, though, is a spray bottle of water. Seriously. It helps tremendously on limp third-day hair. A few spritzes of water, maybe a pump of gel or curl cream, and it's like new. And you might not realize how jealous other people will get when you tell them that your morning hairstyling routine is "Spray some water on it." Be prepared to defend yourself.

Go forth and be curly!

Carrie would approve.